Math

Math is way more interesting than people give it credit for. The other day. I was doing math. And here's something I calculated.

For $800,000 a year, you can hire ten people to squeeze ketchup on their heads all day, every day. Just place an ad on Craigslist or wherever, and let people know that you’ll pay them to do the ketchup thing. Plenty of people will take you up on that offer. They'll follow you wherever you go, and take a continuous tomato shower. You can do that with ten people for just $800,000 a year--and yes, the price of the ketchup is included in that figure.

Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, and Warren Buffet are each worth over $80 billion. That means they can afford to do the ketchup thing with over a million people. As in, go to Cowboys stadium, and look at the 100,000 people there. Bill Gates can do the ketchup thing with every single person there, times ten! I don’t think he’s gonna do it, though. As for me, I'm trying to save up enough money to do that. Tomorrow, I’m gonna call up my accountant and say, "Keep a close eye on my net worth. Once it hits $80 billion, we'll proceed with Operation Ketchup."