Friday, May 27, 2016


Sometimes people give you gifts that have absolutely no connection to who you are and what you like. Just out of nowhere, some guy hands you a loofah. "Merry Christmas." And you're thinking, "What the fuck does he want me to do with this?" It's like he's trying to change you into the type of person who loofahs his calves, takes bubble baths, and listens to Yanni's greatest hits. When someone gives you a gift like that, it's like he's saying, "I don't like who you are. I like people who listen to Yanni. This loofah is part of my plan to change you into the world's number one Yanni fan."