The Conqueror's Challenge
The town's new conqueror said to Nasrudin one day, "Hey Mulla, I have a challenge for you. Offend me in a way that your explanation will be a thousand times worse than the original offense."
The next day, Nasrudin came to the palace and kissed the conqueror right on the lips.
"What was that!" exclaimed the conqueror with great surprise.
"Oh," Nasrudin replied, "excuse me. I got you confused with your wife."
Cursing Fine
After tripping on a rock while walking, Nasrudin angrily yelled out, "Son of a butter-biscuit!"
Unfortunately, a man who happened to be standing nearby thought the comment was directed towards him, and was so offended that he took Nasrudin to court, much to Nasrudin's annoyance.
When the judge heard the case, he ruled that Nasrudin should pay the man five dollars.
Nasrudin then handed the judge a ten dollar bill, and as the judge searched for change, Nasrudin asked, "So I take it the fine for cursing at someone is five dollars, right?"
"Right."
"OK then--keep the change you son of a butter-biscuit."
Nasrudin the Liar and Exaggerator
Mayor: "Nasrudin. You are known to be a liar and exaggerator. Tell me a lie without thinking, and I will reward you with fifty dollars."
Nasrudin: "Fifty dollars? You just promised me a hundred dollars!"
Nasrudin the Proud Parent
Nasrudin and a friend were watching Nasrudin's children.
The friend asked Nasrudin's young son, "What is a dilettante?"
The son replied, "That is an herb used for seasoning."
A delighted Nasrudin turned to his friend and said, "Did you hear that? What a fine boy I have. Just like his father. He made up an answer all by himself!"
The Town Gossip
The Town Gossip: "Nasrudin. I just saw some men delivering a huge tub of stew."
Nasrudin: "What's it to me?"
The Town Gossip: "They were taking it to your house."
Nasrudin: "What's it to you?"
Nasrudin and Friend Prepare a Meal
Mulla Nasrudin - The Guarantee
The Missed Appointment
A philosopher made an appointment with Nasrudin to have a scholarly discussion. When the day came, the philosopher dropped by Nasrudin's house as planned. However, Nasrudin wasn't home. The philosopher angrily took his pencil out of his pocket, wrote "Jerk" on Nasrudin's door, and then left.
Nasrudin finally came home later and saw this. He quickly realized that he had missed his appointment, and he darted off to the philosopher's house.
"Forgive my error," Nasrudin told the philosopher when he got there. "I totally forgot about our appointment today. But when I got home and saw that you had written your nickname on my door, I came here as fast as I could."
A Great Home?
Nasrudin was inspecting a house he wanted to buy. The home's next-door neighbor noticed, walked over, and began telling him how great of a house it was.
When he finished talking, Nasrudin remarked, "Well, what you're saying might be true, but there is one drawback to living here that you neglected to tell me about."
"What's that?"
"A nosy neighbor!"
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