The time I met Tom Cruise

Most people are very star struck when they see a celebrity in person. I'm really like that. The other day, I was eating lunch at McDonald's, and Tom Cruise sat down at the table next to me. He started eating his Big Mac, and I continued eating my two Happy Meals. I get two, since I'm an adult, which means I need more food and more toys. So like I was saying, Tom and I were eating lunch at adjacent tables. And at one point, he started making this really annoying slurping noise while he was drinking his Diet Coke. So then I looked at him and said, "Wow. You're Tom Cruise" And then I got up, I grabbed his drink, and I threw it across the restaurant. And I said, "Next time don't slurp your beverage, butthead!" Yeah. I was very star struck. Ordinarily, when someone slurps a drink right next to me, I immediately punch that person right in the face. But with celebrities, I feel like being way more polite--like I'm talking to the King of England.

I'm just trying to make a living

I'm basically just a guy who's trying to make a living. Even when I play the lottery, I do it with an aim of just making a living. I'm not greedy. I only try to get four out of six numbers right. I fill out the lottery card, and think, "15--that's a good number. 23--that'll probably hit. 54 and 43--those are good, too." And then I go with a couple of ludicrous numbers. I think, "47 and 12. Whatever. I don't want to get the last two numbers right. I'm just trying to make a living."

So, yeah. I'm not a greedy guy. I'm content with getting four out of six numbers, and turning my $1 into $10,000. One time I did that. And then afterwards, I went to Vegas and bet $10,000 on 35 black. I almost won. In other words, I lost. I'm just trying to make a living. I think. I don't know.

President Uncle Joey

I think the 2016 election was great, because it was the first election ever where we thought, "No matter which person becomes our new President, he or she is definitely gonna have a low approval rating." How do you win an election, and then one day one, the public is like, "We don't like you. Get lost." It's amazing. I don't think this is the system that the Founding Fathers had in mind. I don't think Thomas Jefferson said, "We're gonna put together a democracy where people vote for candidates that they really can't stand." We might as well replace the candidates with annoying sitcom characters. "Who do you want as your President: Steve Urkel or Uncle Joey? Or you can vote for the third party candidate, Scooby Doo."

I'm Anti Mom and Pop, and Pro-Walmart

A lot of people are against Walmart. They don't like how Walmart puts mom and shop shops out of business. As for me, I'm actually pro-Walmart. You know why? Because I know mom and pop of the mom and pop shop. And let me tell you something about those two characters. They're not as friendly as they seem. They smile and say hi to you when you walk into a store--but then when you walk out, they make a bunch of anti-Semitic remarks. They say, "Oh, that cheap Jew bought the $10 wine instead of the $20 wine."

That's why I shop at Walmart. At Walmart, you can buy the same bottles of wine for $8 and $15--and nobody calls you a cheap Jew afterwards.

What is Kim Kardashian's Job?

Kim Kardashian is famous, because she represents the popular girl in high school. When you're in high school, there's some popular girl named Jenna or Kim or Madison, and most people don't know her that well, but everyone is aware of everything she does, and they all analyze her for an hour a day. Then you finish high school, and Kim Kardashian fills the role of that popular girl. That pretty much sums it up. That's her job.

My Facebook Education and My Political Views

Most of what I know about politics, I learned by reading people's political posts on Facebook. There are some really good political debates on Facebook. I'm talking about those debates where people call each other idiots and motherfuckers. Those are very informative. That's why I read Facebook instead of actual books.

So, here's what I've learned about politics via Facebook. Republicans are the party where the official policy is that you want to lower taxes, and the unofficial policy is that you don't want your daughter to marry a black guy. As for Democrats, they're the ones who like to recycle stuff, and they also like it when Mexicans take everyone's job. And then there are those third party people, who are focused in on legalizing PCP and prostitution.

In other words, I think Republicans, Democrats, and third party people are morons.
Anyways, for those of you who don't know me, I'm Rodney Ohebsion, fourth party candidate for President of the United States. And not just any United States. I'm talking about the United States of America. That's the main one. I'm exactly what this country needs. I have a lot of views on a lot of issues. For instance, the economy. I'm going to make the economy better. Much better. I'm also gonna reform energy, so that gas goes down to ten cents a gallon, and electricity goes down to three cents a gallon.

But to me, issues like that are secondary. Here's the main problem facing America today. Here's what it comes down to. Motherfuckas be trippin--you know what I'm saying? What we really need to do is get motherfuckas to stop trippin. Changing taxes ain't gonna get motherfuckas to stop trippin.

The One Thought Theory

"Why does Joe procrastinate a certain task? Because of some thought. There's a thought--and if he changes that thought, he will no longer procrastinate."

Such a view is common, and probably very inaccurate. Human behavior isn't necessarily governed that often by one thought.

There are many, many books and articles on procrastination--and although procrastinators often read such books and articles, they seldom make much progress in avoiding procrastination. Why? I think it's primarily because the ideas that circulate about the topic of procrastination tend to be rooted in the narrow mindset that sees too much from the standpoint of one thought.

In order to be regarded as a procrastination expert, you're expected to analyze matters by using that mindset, and offer a fairly simple explanation and solution that relies on the idea that a certain thought needs to be changed. If you deviate from that path and you view the matter form a different mindset, it's very unlikely that you'll be regarded as a legitimate expert on the subject. Our culture has established a protocol, and it's difficult to receive society's rewards if you don't stick to that protocol. The public is very receptive to experts who take up the standard mindset, and very unperceptive to anything else. Unorthodox mindsets tend to be discouraged.

It's difficult for the world as a whole to actually learn about a topic like procrastination, if the "one thought" mindset is so firmly entrenched in our culture.